SCHOOL LIFE AND PARENTS

SCHOOL LIFE

Whether your little one is starting school for the first time, or you are helping your teenager cope with homework stress or poor exam results, this section is for you.
Going to secondary school is part of a time of great change in your child’s life as puberty is on the horizon, together with all the worry and excitement of becoming a teenager. Now they have to face going from being the oldest at primary school to being the youngest in a huge school.
Your teenager may already be at secondary school and going through some tough times. When your child is in trouble at school or truanting, you may feel desperate, with no idea what to do. As a parent you have a legal responsibility to make sure your child attends school regularly. You will also need to support them with their homework and help them to achieve good exam results. This doesn’t mean it is always easy, even though it could make a real difference to your child’s future.

SCHOOL AND PARENTS

Young people live and learn in two worlds – home and school.
The way the two connect and communicate can make an enormous difference to how children learn to manage in both places. If teachers, parents and young people all trust, listen and talk to each other, the final goal of helping children learn and develop to their best ability is most likely to be achieved.Parentline Plus receives many calls concerning schools and schooling, with bullying as the largest category.

Other issues raised include:
1.school non-attendance
2.truanting and exclusions
3.challenging behaviour such as aggression, physical and verbal abuse
4.schoolwork and homework.
Children can’t learn if they are stressed, worried or unhappy, about something happening in or out of school, or if the culture of the school leaves them feeling their family background, ethnicity or race isolates or stigmatises them.
While many schools recognise the need to deal with the whole child and take into account their family circumstances, some seem to continue to believe that their only role is teaching. This means that when children or families are struggling, they may feel the school offers little understanding or back up.You may be concerned about and wish to support your child’s learning, but may feel at a loss to know how. Both parents and teachers need to communicate and see their roles as complementary and inclusive

Parenting Tips

Here are some reasonable parenting tips that will make good relationship between children and parents.

I love my children, but being a parent can be so hard!

Being a parent can be a joy, but it's also a tough job. No parent is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Even loving parents sometimes do things they don't mean to do, such as yell at a child or call a child a bad name. But if you think you're having trouble controlling yourself, get help so a pattern of abuse doesn't start.

I get so frustrated sometimes. Is this normal?

Yes, all parents get frustrated. Children take a lot of time and energy. Parenting is even harder when you have problems in your own life, such as worries about your job, your bills or your relationships, or problems with alcohol or drugs. To be a good parent, you have to first take care of yourself. That means getting help for your problems.

What can I do when I feel frustrated?

Take a break. Everyone needs a break from being a parent once in a while. If you have another adult in your family, take turns getting away. For example, have your partner stay with the children so you can visit friends. Take turns sleeping late on the weekends. If you're a single parent, ask friends and relatives to help by running some errands for you or watching your child while you go out.

I sometimes lose my temper. Does that mean I'm a bad parent?

No, many parents lose their temper with their children. It's okay to feel angry, but it's not okay to take it out on your children. When you're really angry, take a break. For example, take your children for a walk or call a friend to come help you. If you feel angry with your child almost every day or have trouble controlling your temper, get some help by talking to your family doctor. He or she can offer advice and provide resources to help you. There are groups that can help parents, also.

Is it okay to spank my child?

Spanking isn't the best way to discipline children. The goal of discipline is to teach children self-control. Spanking may teach children to stop doing something out of fear. There are better ways to discipline children.One good way for infants and toddlers is called "redirecting." When you redirect a child, you replace an unwanted (bad) behavior with an acceptable (good) behavior. For example, if throwing a ball inside the house isn't allowed, take your child outside to throw the ball.With older children, try to get them to see the consequences of their actions and to take responsibility for them. For example, you can explain to your child that everyone had to wait for dinner because he or she didn't set the table when asked. Explain that your child has to wash the dishes after dinner because he or she didn't set the table before dinner.

How can I be a good parent?

There's not just one right way to raise children. And there's no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child. But here are some guidelines to help your children grow up healthy and happy:

• Show your love. Every day, tell your children: "I love you. You're special to me." Give lots of hugs and kisses.
• Listen when your children talk. Listening to your children tells them that you think they're important and that you're interested in what they have to say.
• Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they're scared. Show them you've taken steps to protect them.
• Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.
• Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you're proud of them.
• Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don't say, "You were bad." Instead, explain what the child did wrong. For example, say: "Running into the street without looking isn't safe." Then tell the child what to do instead: "First, look both ways for cars."
• Be consistent. Your rules don't have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. (Consistent means the rules are the same all the time.) If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure baby-sitters and relatives know (and follow) your family rules.

Who can I ask when I need help raising my child?

There are many ways to get good parenting advice. Sign up for parenting classes offered by hospitals, community centers or schools. Read parenting books or magazines. Talk to your family doctor, a minister, a priest or a counselor. You can also ask your family doctor for parenting help. Don't be embarrassed to ask. Raising children is hard, and no one can do it alone. Your doctor can help you with issues like discipline, potty training, eating problems and bedtime. Your doctor can also help you find local groups that can help you learn better parenting skills.

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